Is Tiger the Father of my kid?
Who knows...we might find out that Tiger is the not-so-proud parent of my kid. 
Every day a new person comes forward to say that they had relations with Tiger. This guy is unbelievable! Give a man power and money and then you can see his true character. He has what I call "F.U." money; meaning, he has so much money that he can do what he wants when he wants.
In a way, he's a pioneer; an innovator. I mean, he is on the cutting edge of creating a whole new market when it comes to what I shall now call "relationship franchising". For a small fee, he has bought the rights to "operate" ladies in several different states. He has franchises setup everywhere. And when you're Tiger Woods, business is good.
Let's see:
Billions of dollars........check
Fame beyond belief..........check
Sponsors lining up at the door..........check
Hot wife..........check
New Trojan endorsement.........check.
Ability to lie better than Bill Clinton.........check (please insert "define lie" joke here)
Every day a new person comes forward to say that they had relations with Tiger. This guy is unbelievable! Give a man power and money and then you can see his true character. He has what I call "F.U." money; meaning, he has so much money that he can do what he wants when he wants. In a way, he's a pioneer; an innovator. I mean, he is on the cutting edge of creating a whole new market when it comes to what I shall now call "relationship franchising". For a small fee, he has bought the rights to "operate" ladies in several different states. He has franchises setup everywhere. And when you're Tiger Woods, business is good.
Let's see:
Billions of dollars........check
Fame beyond belief..........check
Sponsors lining up at the door..........check
Hot wife..........check
New Trojan endorsement.........check.
Ability to lie better than Bill Clinton.........check (please insert "define lie" joke here)
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