Hillary Clinton in Terre Haute?

That's right. In case you haven't seen or heard, Hillary Clinton is making a campaign stop in Terre Haute this morning. (excuse me for a moment while I get shaken down by the Secret Service.............................................................................................................................................................................okay, I'm back). Senator Clinton is speaking at the Saratoga. It seats 150 people and has no parking. Raise your hand if you think this is a brilliant move......I didn't see any hands go up. She is speaking at two other spots in Indiana today and guess what....both speaking events are being held in large gymnasiums where the public actually has an opportunity to attend.

I normally stay out of politics, but I have to chime in on this "historic day" for Terre Haute. I'm going to give you what I think the dialogue was between Senator Clinton and her campaign manager Patti Williams regarding speaking in Terre Haute and where to speak at:

Patti: "Hillary, I think we should make a stop in Terre Haute to get a little more support"

Hillary: "Terre Haute, Isn't that in Canada?"

Patti: "No. Don't you remember old, stinky Terre Haute....Steve Martin labeled it "the armpit" of America."

Hillary: "Oh yeah. I love Steve Martin. Or, is it Martin Lawrence that I love? I never can tell those two guys apart. I tell you what though, when Steve Martin sings that Living La Vida Loca song, I really get fired up."

Patti: "That's Ricky Martin."

Hillary: "Are you questioning me? I'm a Senator from New York. I think I know who Ricky Martin is. Ricky Martin is the hilarious guy on Two and Half Men."

Patti: "No, that's Charlie Sheen."

Hillary: "That's the stupidest think I've ever heard. Everyone knows that it's Six Degrees of Separation with Charlie Sheen."

Patti: "With all due respect Senator, I think you are thinking of Kevin Bacon."

Hillary: "That's preposterous, but speaking of bacon, I would love to have some bacon while we're in Terre Haute."

Patti: "Okay, I guess we can make that happen."

Hillary: "You guess? When I say I want bacon, you had better say "How many slices and how thick". We raised $40 million dollars for this losing campaign and I can't have a few slices of bacon? We're making our stop in Terre Haute at a restaurant...something classy like Denny's or IHOP."

Patti: "Senator, I don't think that's a strong campaign move. We normally try to stick to large venues such as gymnasiums and town halls where we can gather a lot more people and garner a lot more publicity and attention."

Hillary: "So I can't have bacon? What, is it my hips? Am I getting fat?"

Patti: "Please Hillary, don't cry again. That created a media storm the last time".

Hillary: "So I can have bacon then?"

Patti: "Yes, I suppose we can stop by a local restaurant and play it up as a move to get a close and intimate setting with the people."

Hillary: "Great. But, make sure it's somewhere that can't fit that many people because I really don't like to be bothered while I'm eating bacon."

Patti: "We've found the perfect spot. It's small and has no parking and they serve bacon AND kibby."

Hillary: "Sweet. Where are we going?"

Patti: "The Saratoga."

Hillary: "I've heard of that place. Isn't it owned by that actor that was in Ocean's Eleven....what's his name? Oh yeah, George Clooney."

Patti: "No Senator, the Saratoga is locally owned by George Azar."

Hillary: "I think you're wrong about that, but I'm not going to argue about it as long as I get bacon."