My Christmas List's
I suppose everyone is waiting for a reply from me concerning my favorite and not so favorite holiday things. Sarah has set the bar pretty high, but I'm going to throw my two cents out there and see what contribution I can make. Christmas is only a few days away. Let the madness begin......
Favorite Holiday Things:
1. Hearing the phrase "Kick him in his Jingle Balls" (I know it's 7th grade humor, but man it's funny)
2. Watching "Christmas Vacation" over and over again. Is there any better exchange than this:
Eddie: "Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And, the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career."
Clark: "College?"
Eddie: "Carnival."
Clark: "You got to be proud."
Eddie: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, He'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman. You ever see her?"
Clark: "No."
Eddie: "She's got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And, a hell of a good cook."
3. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate desserts.
4. Sarah getting SO excited to give me gifts and make people happy. She's always so happy and excited that it makes me feel good (even though she calls me scrooge).
5. Extra days off to go bow hunting
6. The sweet Christmas lights that are synchronized to music. I tell myself that I'm going to do that one day, but we all know that I'm too cheap to pay for the increased electric bill.
7. Driving around with Sarah and trying to find the worst Christmas light/figure displays.
8. Enjoying the sight of two light up reindeer who are "getting down". Every year, pranksters inevitably pose two light up reindeer in a compromising position. Again, this is juvenile, but I have to laugh because it takes me back to my youth.....or last week when I did it to my neighbors.
9. Egg-Nog. What a sweet name. Egg-Nog. Does anyone even know what that means? I don't, but I can tell you this, the fact that I only drink a limited amount of it around Christmas makes it taste unbelievably good. If I had it available to me all year round, I'd think it tasted like crap.
10. The Victoria's Secret fashion show. That's all I have to say about that.
11. Snow covered roads that help me validate having a 4 wheel drive truck as a second vehicle.
Not So Favorite Holiday Things
1. The entire process involved with mailing out Christmas cards (buying, addressing, sealing, etc.). I did it this year and it's not easy. On a side note, a donation in your name has been made to The Human Fund for everyone who received a card this year. It's a good cause and you should check into it.
2. Christmas music. To be honest, I would like to drop kick most of the people out there who record Christmas music. Does anyone else feel sick to their stomach when they have to listen to the unbelievably depressing Bing Crosby's "White Christmas"? Most of the music is a waste of air time; except for Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song", it's pretty good.
3. Being around a lot of kids. For those of you that don't know, I'm one of the worst people ever around kids. I'm an idiot and they know it. I just can't seem to relate to a lot of them and I feel awkward and nervous. I'm trying though. When I have kids, I'll be the only dad at the Christmas play that is wearing his "Worst Dad Ever" t-shirt. Don't laugh, it's true.
4. Thinking about how much money is wasted every year on Christmas presents that people don't want or need. I'll just say it, "Bah, Humbug".
5. Having to be at 4 different spots at the same time on each holiday. We end up rushing around and staying at each place for a small amount of time. I feel like we miss a lot because we are rushed in and out. When we build our final house, I will be including a "Man Room/Entertainment Hall". Hopefully, it will be used for all family events. This is part of my master plan that involves not having to leave the house for any family event or holiday. It will be exxxxxcellent! On a side note, my family needs to make their reservations for the room before the end of the year, as prices will rise in 2008. You will all still receive the family discount, but it will be dropped to 5% off this year.
6. Putting up the Christmas tree and lights
7. Taking down the Christmas tree and lights.
8. Listening to Sarah sing, "Sarah want's an iPhone" for an entire month. It's brutal. But, I think it catching on, because I've been having dreams about buying her an iPhone....psyche. There's no chance you're getting an iPhone....you're getting a stick.
That's all that I have.
Have a Merry (and safe) Christmas!
Bah, Humbug
Favorite Holiday Things:
1. Hearing the phrase "Kick him in his Jingle Balls" (I know it's 7th grade humor, but man it's funny)
2. Watching "Christmas Vacation" over and over again. Is there any better exchange than this:
Eddie: "Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And, the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career."
Clark: "College?"
Eddie: "Carnival."
Clark: "You got to be proud."
Eddie: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, He'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman. You ever see her?"
Clark: "No."
Eddie: "She's got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And, a hell of a good cook."
3. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate desserts.
4. Sarah getting SO excited to give me gifts and make people happy. She's always so happy and excited that it makes me feel good (even though she calls me scrooge).
5. Extra days off to go bow hunting
6. The sweet Christmas lights that are synchronized to music. I tell myself that I'm going to do that one day, but we all know that I'm too cheap to pay for the increased electric bill.
7. Driving around with Sarah and trying to find the worst Christmas light/figure displays.
8. Enjoying the sight of two light up reindeer who are "getting down". Every year, pranksters inevitably pose two light up reindeer in a compromising position. Again, this is juvenile, but I have to laugh because it takes me back to my youth.....or last week when I did it to my neighbors.
9. Egg-Nog. What a sweet name. Egg-Nog. Does anyone even know what that means? I don't, but I can tell you this, the fact that I only drink a limited amount of it around Christmas makes it taste unbelievably good. If I had it available to me all year round, I'd think it tasted like crap.
10. The Victoria's Secret fashion show. That's all I have to say about that.
11. Snow covered roads that help me validate having a 4 wheel drive truck as a second vehicle.
Not So Favorite Holiday Things
1. The entire process involved with mailing out Christmas cards (buying, addressing, sealing, etc.). I did it this year and it's not easy. On a side note, a donation in your name has been made to The Human Fund for everyone who received a card this year. It's a good cause and you should check into it.
2. Christmas music. To be honest, I would like to drop kick most of the people out there who record Christmas music. Does anyone else feel sick to their stomach when they have to listen to the unbelievably depressing Bing Crosby's "White Christmas"? Most of the music is a waste of air time; except for Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song", it's pretty good.
3. Being around a lot of kids. For those of you that don't know, I'm one of the worst people ever around kids. I'm an idiot and they know it. I just can't seem to relate to a lot of them and I feel awkward and nervous. I'm trying though. When I have kids, I'll be the only dad at the Christmas play that is wearing his "Worst Dad Ever" t-shirt. Don't laugh, it's true.
4. Thinking about how much money is wasted every year on Christmas presents that people don't want or need. I'll just say it, "Bah, Humbug".
5. Having to be at 4 different spots at the same time on each holiday. We end up rushing around and staying at each place for a small amount of time. I feel like we miss a lot because we are rushed in and out. When we build our final house, I will be including a "Man Room/Entertainment Hall". Hopefully, it will be used for all family events. This is part of my master plan that involves not having to leave the house for any family event or holiday. It will be exxxxxcellent! On a side note, my family needs to make their reservations for the room before the end of the year, as prices will rise in 2008. You will all still receive the family discount, but it will be dropped to 5% off this year.
6. Putting up the Christmas tree and lights
7. Taking down the Christmas tree and lights.
8. Listening to Sarah sing, "Sarah want's an iPhone" for an entire month. It's brutal. But, I think it catching on, because I've been having dreams about buying her an iPhone....psyche. There's no chance you're getting an iPhone....you're getting a stick.
That's all that I have.
Have a Merry (and safe) Christmas!
Bah, Humbug
Comments
By the way,nice use of the word psyche! The last time I heard that word, Christmas Vacation was in the movie theatre.
In case I don't see you Monday night, Merry Christmas!