Indiana TED Talk - The Fear of Change

Last week I had the opportunity to give a brief TED style talk to a large group of insurance industry agents and executives in Indianapolis at the Big I Annual Conference.  The topic that I chose to speak on was change (and the uncomfortable nature of it).  This topic was fitting for me and the insurance industry because we have both dealt with rapid and uncomfortable change in the last 5 years and we both are still working to find ways to deal with it. 

Not to get too deep into my talk, but I would like to share some of the key content and points below:

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” -Socrates

Metathesiophobia - The fear of change or changing. 

I suffer from metathesiophobia.  Whether we admit it or not, we all suffer from metathesiophobia.  It's how we deal with it that separates us. 

Five years ago I went through one of the biggest and most dramatic changes in my life.  I was an owner in a company and very comfortable in my work.  Then something happened...I had a falling out with my business partner and over the course of 6 months, I had my entire life's career identity and plan taken from me. 

In a flash, everything that I was working toward for the last 19 years was taken from me.....and I was afraid.  Afraid of the change.  Metathesiophobia...my kryptonite. 

The fear of change is evolutionary in humans.  For thousands of years, man and woman have liked routine.  Our internal predispositions, heredity, and genetics, teach us to resist change mainly to "always feel in control". 

It's a natural survival instinct ingrained in us.  It does not make us sick or weird, it just makes us more human.  Reasearch shows us this time and time again.  Think about it....the route you drive to work, the meal you order at your favorite restaurant, what time you go to bed, the order of your morning routine of brushing your teeth, hair (for those of you that have it), and eating breakfast.  I would bet that all of us do these things the same way, at the same time, and in the same order every day.

In a way, this doesn’t’ make sense. 

Think about it, for thousands of years we have learned that we have to adapt or die, and yet we still naturally resist change. Particularly change that is imposed on us.

We want change, but we don’t want to give up the comfort of familiarity – of doing things exactly as they’ve always been done.  I believe that if you surveyed most of your colleagues within your organization, they would tell you that one of the primary things that holds your organization back is resistance to change.  The most prevalent line of logic behind why we do things the way we do is the simple statement, “Because that’s the way we've always done it". 

The effect on organizations:

• New ideas get suppressed.  

• Innovation doesn’t happen.  

• You get beat by your competition that has less resources and talent. 

So why do we do this?  (Other than thousands of years of evolutionary implantation.)  As it turns out, it's fairly simple.  Internally, we expect the whole world to go as plan. We are creatures of habit.  Internally we rationalize, “This is what we’re doing at the moment and this is our plan”.   It’s safe because it’s known, structured, and certain, right?   But then we consider something different and we immediately get an uneasy feeling because it’s unknown, unstructured, and uncertain. 

Taking yourself and your organization from where you are to where you want to go there is potential for failure, loss, ridicule, shame, anxiety, pain, exhaustion, confusion, etc.   It’s uncomfortable.

So the voice inside our head says, “Let’s play it safe.  Let’s do it the way its always been done." 

How do you guide your organization through the uncomfortable change?  How do you move yourself to action in uncomfortable times?

1. Develop a growth mindset.  Realize that things change constantly and you have to adapt, or be the way of the dinosaur.  There is a mindset that we are our past.  This is false.  We have to remind ourselves that we are not our past and we shouldn’t be defined by it.  We can wake up tomorrow and be anybody or do anything.
2. Believe in the power of positive psychology.  Believe you can do it, plan how to do it, and then do it.  The lens through which your brain views the world shapes reality.  If you can change the lens, you can change everything.
3. Consciously work on developing the ability to see change as a challenge and not as a threat.  Ninety percent of the way that we approach things are determined internally via our brains.  Every time your brain has a success, it pushes the goal a little further and you get better.
4. Disrupt what is with what could be.  Break the perceived rules for yourself and your organization.  

"There is no growth without change.  You've got to let go of some old stuff and that can hurt.  Often when I'm in the most pain, I realize it's coming from my trying to control everything or resisting the changes that come with the progress.  But you see that light...that beautiful next level....that's what you have to focus on."  -Ali Brown

I won't go into all of the details on here, but I can say that the change that I went through five years ago woke me up and opened my eyes to a number of great opportunities and experiences that I hadn't previously considered.  I'm thankful for the last five years of chaotic fun (aka change)!