Work as Usual

It looks like The Man is going to continue to hold me down and I'm going to have to go back to work since I didn't win the Powerball $570 million prize.  What bull!  I'm not a normal lottery buyer, but I got caught up in the hoopla last night and bought 6 tickets.  By the way...who knew that Powerball tickets cost $2 now.  I asked for 6 tickets and handed the clerk a $10 bill.  She looked at me like I was an idiot and told me, "Tickets are $2 each, babe".   

This loss has huge implications for me.  First, it doesn't look like I'll be getting that date with Brooke Burke now. After all, what do I have to offer someone who looks this good?  (the correct answer here would be "nothing"). 

It's sad to think that I had a better chance of winning the Powerball last night than I do landing a date with Brooke. 

Second, I will now be forced to apologize to my beautiful wife for all of those ill timed insults I spewed last night when I thought that I would be a multi-millionaire today.  

Finally, I'll be re-evaluating my approach to buying lottery tickets.  I think that if I use the "go big or go home" approach then I will definitely start winning more.  From now on, I'm going to"invest" $200 per week in lottery tickets.  I know you're probably thinking, "That's a genius idea".  I know! What can I say...I'm a visionary...a pioneer.